Thinking

I was just thinking about how I might see myself once I've lost weight. I've been picked on for my weight so long that I don't know if I'd trust anyone who said anything genuine about me. Like when I was younger in high school and middle school, people would say to me that a certain boy liked me. I always knew that they were lying, they just wanted to see me get all excited about the prospect that someone liked me.
Of course these days, no one really says things like that to me.
No one even seems shocked when I tell them I've never been on a date before. I'm 22 years old and you'd think that would shock someone but no, no is. It's almost like they expect me to be dateless because of how I look. So when I finally reach my goal weight will I be able to accept that men are really interested in me. Will I really be able to take a compliment?
These are things I've been trying to sort out in my head. Maybe I won't even notice by the time I do reach my goal.
Life throws these kinds of wrenchs; I'll just have to deal with it I guess.