I was so proud of myself last night. I went to Target and Stop n Shop to pick up a few things with my parents and I can honestly say that I only picked up 1- 4 pack of Cadbury Easter Eggs, and they were the smaller size too. I didn't go down any of the middle aisles in Stop n Shop and I only went down the one food aisle at Target to find the eggs.
I even saved one of the eggs from being eaten last night. Yea for me.
I have to return to Stop n Shop this evening though to return Twilight to the Redbox machine. That was the whole point of going last night but both Redbox machines weren't working. The doors were stuck. So I'm going to check tonight after my walk.

Also a proud moment, I haven't bought lunch at work in over a week. That's money saved and money in my pocket. I find that bringing my lunch forces me to eat healthier. The only healthy food places here are Subway and Au Bon Pain. ABP is too expensive and you can get sick of too many subs.
This is also forcing myself to think about what I'll want to eat at lunch time. I'm the type of person who doesn't know what they want to eat until their starving so planning meals is hard for me.
It's one of the things I'm working on.

Thinking

I was just thinking about how I might see myself once I've lost weight. I've been picked on for my weight so long that I don't know if I'd trust anyone who said anything genuine about me. Like when I was younger in high school and middle school, people would say to me that a certain boy liked me. I always knew that they were lying, they just wanted to see me get all excited about the prospect that someone liked me.
Of course these days, no one really says things like that to me.
No one even seems shocked when I tell them I've never been on a date before. I'm 22 years old and you'd think that would shock someone but no, no is. It's almost like they expect me to be dateless because of how I look. So when I finally reach my goal weight will I be able to accept that men are really interested in me. Will I really be able to take a compliment?
These are things I've been trying to sort out in my head. Maybe I won't even notice by the time I do reach my goal.
Life throws these kinds of wrenchs; I'll just have to deal with it I guess.

Walking Song of the Week

This week's favourite walking song is called Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall.

It's a very upbeat song with a great thumping beat. It gets me moving in a way a lot of other songs don't. So thank you, KT.

Today Was the Day

Today was the day that I was going to extend my walk to cover the restof the walking trail. And then I had to pee. Sounds weird right? But at the reservoir, they don't have any port-a-potties anywhere but the parking lots. So I walked my usual route and walked a little slower than usual (which really wasn't all that much slower). I think that at least I walked at all today.
I was supposed to go walking with a friend of mine but she bailed saying it was too cold for her. After I hung up with her I decided I wanted to walk with or without her. My walks are too important to me to just skip one. I always feel really proud of myself after a good walk. Like those little endorphins are drugging my brain or something.
I love endorphins, don't you?

How much?

Okay so the moment of truth has come. I currently weigh 281.5lbs. That means in order for me to weigh 160lbs I need to lose 121.5lbs.
Of course this weigh in is on a scale that we've had for years and I don't know that I trust it all that well.
I think that I'm going to order a new scale today. One that will give me my body fat percentage too. I want to be as accurate as possible.

On another note I plan on returning to Curves next Monday. I have attended my local Curves on and off for the last 5ish months. Except the last month and a bit where I took that time off. aka slacking. The way I see it is that I need to do a bit of weight training along with the walking to make by body toned and not just thin. Curves provides an environment for me to do that without looking like a total idiot.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

This is a picture of the trail I walk at my local reservoir. I painted the bright yellow lines to show where I currently walk. I also painted out the names of the roads so as not to help the crazies out there find me.

I love the reservoir. It's so peaceful and quiet. A lot of people I know, don't like to walk there alone because tthey're afraid that someone will get them or that they'll get lost in the woods but I enjoy it. There a such scenic views it's just incredible.

Steps I Take

For the last week I have been wearing a pedometer. My mom has worn a pedometer everyday for years and she loves it. So I thought I'd give it a shot. Or at least another shot. I'd tried wearing one before but it didn't really help. This time though, I've made myself a calendar for the rest of this year to write down my daily step counts.
I figure at least this way I have proof that I'm working on losing the weight.
It's weird, on days that I work I get about 2-3000 steps, if I just walk then I get about 10000 steps, if I walk and work in the same day I get about 13000 steps. It's exciting to see the numbers going up.
I think that this summer I'm going to buy a really expensive pair of Nike sneakers so that I can buy that iPod device you put in the shoes. It's a more accurate pedometer and it'll probably help a bit better than the one I currently have strapped to my hip.

Today Was A Good Day

Today was a more than good day.
For the past week I have been walking at my local reservoir. It has a biker/walker's loop that's approximately 3 miles long. At the beginnning of the week it took me about an hour and a half to walk the whole thing and my legs would be cramping way before I finished. Today, I walked the whole thing in 1 hour!!! One thing you should know is that I am overweight. I normally can't walk 1 mile without feeling out of breath or anything. So today I felt like I was on top of the world.

This blog is an attempt by me to be held accountable for the things I do with my self. I am 22 years old and I am severely overweight for my 5'9" frame. My knees tend to throb when I stand for too long and I can't find pants for work that look good on me.
My goals are:

1. to wiegh in at 160 lbs
2. to be able to run a half marathon (I've been inspired by PastaQueen)

My reasons for wanting to lose weight are somwhat shallow. I want to look hot. I don't just want to be happy with my body, I want to feel attractive. I do want to lose weight to be healthier but I can't help wanting to feel pretty. Now I know some people will say that I don't have to be thin to feel pretty or be hot. I am glad that some people can feel amazing in the bodies that they have but I'm not one of them.

I didn't deide to lose weight for any particular reason at first. I didn't have that epiphany that you hear about. Nobody told me I was gonna die if I didn't lose weight. I just feel like now is the time to start. I am currently at work writng this (shhhh!) and therefore don't have a scale to wiegh myseld=f so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to post what my starting weight is.

So my plan is to work with a loose system at first. Walking at the reservoir 4 times a week and eating healthier food like veggies and less junk like chips. I am quite sure I will fall off the bandwagon many times (I did last night when I made brownies with cake frosting), but I will pick myself up, dust my big butt of and get right back on the wagon.

My plan for running the half marathon is to start slow. I like walking at the reservoir and I love that my time is decresing. So my goal is to be able to make a circuit in 4minutes. This way, I'll be able to walk the circuit twice in a row. After I am able to do that, I plan to start intermittantly jogging while I walk, until I can jog a whole circuit.

I am hoping you will all hold me accountable to my goals.